


I don't wanna set the world on fire

by Heavydirtys0ul



Series: Red Skies [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17396576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavydirtys0ul/pseuds/Heavydirtys0ul
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world, two brothers make strange acquaintances, one must live with the knowledge that one day his lover will not be able to consciously think, nor remember him. (Logicality and Prinxiety)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ((I’m trying something…very different with this one, sort of a Fallout 4 AU I guess? For those who aren’t familiar with the Fallout series, I’ll give a little back story before you read the fic. It’s based in a wasteland after nuclear bombs have been dropped and the remaining humans, and subsequent monsters created by the radiation, have to survive. Fallout 4, in particular, is based 200 years after the bombs have dropped in Boston)) 
> 
> ((Edit, also: In the Fallout Universe they have things called Stimpaks that heal all health and Radaway which takes away the radiation, as these are mentioned. 
> 
> As Patton is a Ghoul in this fic I should explain Ghouls are humans that have taken A Lot of radiation damage, resulting in skin scarring, either black eyes or very pale irises with the white parts red, and very gravelly voices, some Ghouls become feral early on in their lives, some manage to stay normal for the majority of their lives, but as far as I know eventually all Ghouls become feral canonically in Fallout lore so I thought it would make some good angst.))

“I don’t even get why up here,” Patton sighs, closing the box of Stimpaks and setting them beside him as he sits cross-legged on the roof of the old gas station they had turned into their personal fortress. Logan pulls the cigarette out of his mouth and watches the sky turning red through the smoke he exhales, as the sun sets low against the horizon. 

“It’s a nice view,” He replies with a shrug, cigarette between his fingertips whilst he considers the emptiness of the rooftop “Where are the others?” Patton shuffles closer and leans his head on the other man’s shoulder, pulling his spiked goggles off his head as he does. 

“Roman’s checking the turrets, Virgil is putting out the fires for the night,” Logan nods and offered Patton the cigarette, which is politely declined the same way it always is. He usually replies with something along the lines of ‘I’m dying fast enough as it is Logan, without your cancer sticks’. Insinuating they were ever Logan’s in the first place; occasionally he’ll buy a pack, most of them are piliged off dead raiders. Patton didn’t want a dead man’s cigarette either. 

“I wonder what it was like, before the war,” Patton hums quietly, the clattering of stairs makes them look up, Roman and Virgil smiled tiredly at the two, placing their weapons down next to the Stimpaks and sitting down next to Logan and Roman. 

“Buildings were probably in one piece,” Logan says gently “The sky probably looked blue, instead of grey, green or red, people probably didn’t have to use Radaway every day,”

“I’ve seen pictures,” Virgil says softly “In some of the vaults, I saw pictures, they were black and white but, the roads were all together, not just muddy and cracked, the trees all had leaves, there were flowers and real vegetables,” He stares longingly out at the devastated world, he wonders if nature cried as much as humans must have the day the bombs dropped. “Children were children, probably, they were unlikely to have to learn how to use a gun before they were 5 years old, and animals were…different,” They look down from the roof to their dog, who was barking aimlessly at leaves. “Although dogs didn’t look different, there were smaller dogs though, I guess only certain breeds made it through, cos I only see big dogs,”  

They’d found Dogmeat wandering around on his own and he didn’t seem to have an owner, so they (Patton) decided they all had a new pet. “People looked happier,” Virgil finally finishes, grabbing a beer off of Logan and cracking it open on their designated rock. “But it was people who ruined it all in the fucking end, greed, spite, and too much power bestowed in obnoxious leaders,” 

Roman steals one of Logan’s cigarettes “Human arrogance, and I guess we’ve gotta pay for it, if we’re even human anymore really, most of us have got more radiation than DNA,” He looks exhausted, his hands full of oil and dirt, with scratches over his arms and face from the days work. He leans his head on Virgil’s shoulder and the younger presses a kiss atop his hair, before yawning. 

“Ain’t gonna be fucking anything left of us, eventually, we’re all gonna be ghouls one day,” Ghouls, although initially human, were so damaged by the radiation that their brains begin to rot away, leaving them feral. At that point, there’s no choice left but to put a bullet in them. When the Sanders brothers, Logan and Roman, had found Virgil, he’d been fighting off seven of them at once. Roman had said he’d always known he’d fall in love with a sharpshooter. 

Virgil took down all seven of them in under three minutes. Logan had been suitably impressed and asked the other if he would like to join them, strength in numbers after all. It took less than a week for him and Roman to become…whatever it was they were. They were all running on borrowed time, after all, it had come as no surprised to Logan when his brother had taken interest in the black-haired wildcat of a man. He was ferocious, deadly, good with a gun, and could put a bullet in an enemy two seconds before the enemy has even noticed he’s there. 

Roman likes men that he knows could kill him, as it so appears. 

It had come more of a surprise when Patton joined their little group, and his life was always destined to be shorter than theirs, because Patton was not as Human as the rest of them. 

The youngest was a Ghoul, a non-feral Ghoul, who they’d found in an abandoned house of an abandoned town, eating freshly cooked meat and purified water. Virgil had pointed a gun at him and the other had asked if he’d like some water. 

For a Ghoul, he had a sense of humor and was hopelessly naive. He’d grown up alone from the age of 5, knew how to use a gun but preferred to just run away, and spent most of his time scavenging corpses for food. He was acutely aware that a day could come where he no longer had a brain and therefore tried to live as if he had nothing. 

Then he met them. Virgil had been so shocked about been asked for water that he actually lowered the gun “I…what?” He asked, and Roman laughed. Logan raised his eyebrows and Patton held up the glass of water. 

“I built a water purifier in the nearby lake, so I have a lot of water, as long as there’s rain!” Roman refused to stop laughing, but took the glass of water anyway. “I’m pretty good at building things, I find a lot of pre-war schematics in the places I uh…borrow from,” 

“Can we keep him? Please?” The younger Sanders brother had begged his partner and brother, “Also this water actually tastes like water, not mud, guys please?” Logan drinks some of the water, walking around Patton with a concentrated stare. 

“He’s a Ghoul,” Virgil finally fills in the silence, gesturing at him “Feral or not, he’s still a fuckin’ Ghoul,” Roman pouts and Logan waves his hand at the two of them before they start bickering like the old married couple they’d never see to be. 

“We could do with someone who’s good with mechanics,” Logan finally says “Roman’s useless at everything, and me and Virgil can’t make heads or tails of anything remotely requiring an engine, as much as I hate to admit, I think this Ghoul could actually be useful,” Patton blinks his  pale white eyes, and beams. Roman cheers.

Humans weren’t fond of Ghouls, or really anything, not even other Humans most of the time. This wasteland had made everyone a fear, and outside the fortressed walls of the nearest city, the Commonwealth was not an easy place to try to survive. Virgil didn’t trust Patton at first, he’d snap at him a lot, Logan asked him to stop and sort his attitude out, but surprisingly Patton came to Virgil’s defense. “It’s alright,” He said, putting down his tools for a moment. “Humans are supposed to be scared of us, it’s instinct, it’s a natural reflex to us because we’re terrifying when we turn feral,” He sighs, “And one day it happens too us all yanno? One day one of you are going to have too…” He falls quiet “But anyway, it’s not his fault, he’s right to be scared of me, and I don’t expect kindness from Humans ever, I’ve spent most of my life dodging bullets and not firing at me is the most kindness I’d expect out of any of you,” 

Logan goes very quiet and he thinks he sees Patton differently now, all Humans held a pre-conceived idea of Ghouls, that they lacked sentience. Patton didn’t lack sentience, nor compassion or empathy. He sat amongst people who he was convinced were afraid of or hated him, and created things for them to use and protect themselves knowing, in the long run, it might be the things they use against him one day. For once in his life, his heart twinged, and he had no idea how to respond. 

Virgil eased up after that.

It came as even more of a surprise when Logan and Patton became more romantically involved, it was a long process, as the two of them could not have been more emotionally disconnected from the world in terms of romance if they tried. Logan had been the one to swallow his pride and admit it, despite his long history of refusing to do just that. 

“I need to talk to you,” Patton, who had just finished building a turret for the third entrance too their settlement, hums in response and sets down his screwdriver, pulling his goggles up from his eyes and resting them atop his messy brown hair (That’d been another thing, Logan had never actually seen a Ghoul with hair before, it had intrigued him). 

“What’s up, Lo?” The turret beside him sparks slightly, he hits it and it begins to whir into life, “Sorry, that’s better, what did you need?”

“I needed too…confess,” He’s stood rigidly still, scratching the back of his neck. “I appear to have… realized…” He trails off and coughs, trying to understand why it was so hard to form words in this situation. Patton raises his eyebrows. “Look, matters of the heart are not my forte,” Patton chuckles. 

“I can see that, smoothskin,” Logan had initially, thought smoothskin to be an insult to Humans, but somehow when Patton says it, it sounds affectionate. “My eyes might be fucked, but I’m not actually blind,” Logan smiles despite it, but it quickly falls as Patton’s does “But, you do understand the…consequences of loving a Ghoul, right?” His face looks sad, even his eyes somehow, look haunted. “You do understand one day I’ll…I’ll turn feral?” Logan nods. 

“I’ve considered this,” He says softly “But, the day will come one day no matter what, so why not make what’s left of our lives worth it?” Patton smiles and nods. 

“Yeah, alright,” 

Virgil had dropped his gun in surprise when he’d been told, Roman had been mid-drink of water and choked. Logan shrugged, and Patton patted the younger Sanders’ brother on the back to help ease his choking. Later, Roman and Logan would have a lengthy conversation on whether this was a good idea, although he simply adored Patton and all he created, “One day one of us are gonna have to put a bullet in him, do you understand that Logan?” He spoke frantically, running his hands over his face. “One day he’s going to turn Feral and there’s nothing we can do about that, the radiation is eating his brain,”

“We don’t know for sure Roman, the Rad-X and Radaway could be helping, and how is it any different from losing one of us to a gunshot? Every day, we risk our lives, but at the end of it we don’t just push each other away, would you give up Virgil if it was the same situation?” Roman falls silent. 

“Of course not,”

“Exactly,”

So now, the four of them drink on top of the gas station, smoking a cigarette and drinking as if the world is always ending. Patton’s scrap pile of torn apart robots and cars glints in the setting sun, whilst the turrets whirred quietly in the deathly silence. Four men at the end of the world, whilst the radio with only one station crackles with music. 

_“I don’t wanna set the world on fire,_

_I just wanna start, a flame in your heart,”_


	2. Don't they know it's the end of the world (it ended when I lost your love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the time comes, it comes fast, and no one is prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is The Chapter, the reason why that content warning is there. Please proceed with caution, it was upsetting even for me to write. (Major Character Death TW)

On one late night, Logan told Patton he loved him, that the stars shone only in his eyes, and the Ghoul had replied: "I love you too, Lo, but what's the occasion?" Logan looks down at his hands and swallows dryly, before looking up at the night's sky. He looks down at his partner, where their hands are linked, and runs his fingertips over the other's scarred skin. 

"Because if the day comes," Patton's gaze softens, his smile slips, his body turns sullen in the dark "If the day comes where I can't tell you, and what must be done must be done, Patton, I need you to know now I love you with all my heart," He nods slightly, and looks away, before pressing a kiss to Logan's lips, their hands remaining intertwined. "I need you to have my goodbye before I can't give it to you if the day comes, you understand," His dark eyes are heavy, blinking through tears, his throat feels dry even without the radiation poisoning. 

"I understand Logan," Patton replies gently, wiping away the other's tears "I understand, and I know, but when the time does come, please, don't hesitate in your actions, I won't know happiness or sadness when I turn feral, only pain and hunger, what needs to be done, must be done," Logan swallows, he holds Patton close too him and buries his face in his hair, trying to even out his breathing, how could Patton be so calm about all of this? How could he breathe normally knowing the day will come? "I've had my entire life to prepare for this, Lo, it must be hard for you to come to terms with it," The elder nods and pulls away a little, taking a deep breath and pulling a cigarette out of its box. 

"Before I met you, I never thought I'd fall in love in this...wasteland, the risk is too high, and despite all logic I still did, and it's ruined me, Patton, we're getting older, the radiation isn't going away," Logan's voice cracks, "You were the only person who I could stop for, the only person who got what it's like to know and understand that our time is running thin on this world, Roman couldn't ever understand because he lives with his heads in the clouds, he always lives in his hopes and dreams, Virgil is different, he's more grounded but he doesn't care if he lives or dies either," Logan takes a deep breath "But you always got it, you understood that time is of the essence in our lives, that we have to live them before they run out," 

"Yes, yes I do, which is why, when I've gone, you need to continue living your life," Logan looks at him like he's just been slapped. The word how dies on his lips as he looks at Patton "I'm serious, Logan, you know now you have love in you, even though it comes at a cost, there could be others, they won't be me but, they'll still love you and you can love them too," Logan cries, he cries like all the energy in his body is poured into his sadness, he cries like he's not cried since he was a child. He cries so hard that he falls asleep on the top of the gas station roof his head in Patton's lap, tears still drying on his face. 

\--

When the time comes, none of them are prepared. The signs have been there, for the past few weeks Patton had been forgetting things, he'd been having moments where he hadn't really appeared to be all there. He'd stop mid-sentence and look confused, forgetting the rest of the sentence. Virgil and Roman have been exchanging worried looks, but Logan had almost been refusing to acknowledge it. 

When they wake up, on a Monday morning, the place is trashed, the scrap heap has been thrown in different directions, and in the middle of it all is what's left of Patton. His eyes glow in the morning light, lips pulled back in a snarl, he stumbles, moves quick but jagged. It's Virgil who pulls the trigger, he's the only one who can stomach it, Logan stares and watches, his mouth making words but nothing falling out. The dark haired boy gives Logan a look of pity as he raises the gun. Roman runs just as Logan starts too, grabbing his brother around the waist, trying to block out the haunting scream that the elder let's rip from his lungs. Roman is physically much stronger than Logan, and easily keeps the elder man's head in his shoulder but that doesn't stop his heart aching as he feels Logan shake. The gunshot sounds like a bomb, bringing static into the silence. Roman can feel Logan's hands hammering at his chest and not much else, his entire body doesn't feel real. 

The younger Sanders brother cries too, his heart thudding, he looks up and meets Virgil's eyes, the gun slips through his fingertips and clatters on the floor. "I'm so sorry Patton," He hears over the static of his own anguish. For a moment, Roman hears nothing, nothing at all, only ringing and the wind. He stares at his friend's body, finally letting go of Logan. In his entire life, he'd never really seen Logan cry, the elder Sanders' brother had always had his emotions in a cage until he'd met Patton. Some part of him, staring at his brother, tears streaming, barely breathing through his pain, wishes none of them had met Patton. For a second, he's angry, angry at Patton, angry at Logan, angry at this situation. He kicks a piece of metal, half a robot that Patton had been trying so hard to repair. It shatters on the floor. 

"Roman, breathe," Virgil. His hands are on his arms, hands, cheeks "Roman you need to keep it together, I can't hold both of you up here," Roman grounds himself in his lover's voice, he at least has Virgil. Logan probably feels like he's got nothing right now. He nods, helping Logan too his feet. "Come on Lo, we've got you, we've got you," 

Roman cleans up Patton's body, he wraps him in bedsheets and closes his eyes. "I'm sorry Patton, I'm so sorry,"  He sighs "God, this is all my fault, I fucking..." He bites down his tears "I fucking asked you too come, I let you both get attached this is all my fucking fault," He leans on the table top "And now I've got too fucking bury you, whilst my brother stares at the body of the only man he ever truly loved, and I hope you realised that, I hope you realized exactly how special you were Patton," There's silence, but he knows, deep in his heart. 

Patton knew. 

\--

They buried him at nightfall, Logan had nothing left in him. He stared, he breathed, his eyes were red and his lips were dry but not a single word came out of him. Virgil and Roman stay with him all night, as he sits beside Patton's grave and stares. Dogmeat can sense something is wrong, he'd not witnessed any of the situation, given that he could sleep through a radiation storm, but he couldn't see Patton. He couldn't see Patton, and he could see them all sat around somewhere that smells like Patton. He whimpers, nuzzling Logan. Logan finally looks away, smiling softly, slow tears fall from his eyes; he'd hated Dogmeat at first, but Patton loved him, and what Patton said with his ghost puppy dog eyes, went. RIght now, he couldn't have been happier for the large dog to be nuzzling him, looking for comfort. "Hey boy," He says hoarsely "Sorry about Patton, we all know he was the only one actually feeding you, guess we gotta do that now," He laughs, but there's no humor in it "Typical, you bastard," He says through his tears "You go and croak on us, and now we gotta look after your dumb mutt," halfway through his sentence, his voice shakes and the tears fall heavily, he rubs his forehead with his hand. "It's been, what? a day? And I miss you like crazy, I don't know what I'm doing Patton," Roman squeezes his shoulder and Virgil looks up at him. 

Logan pulls a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one, inhaling before rubbing his eyes "I haven't even got you here to complain about me smoking, I even fucking miss that," He's just rambling now, and somewhere along the lines, he stopped talking and just continues crying, gasping for air. "I fucking miss you, why...why..." Virgil and Roman wrap their arms around the eldest, muttering words that he can't even really hear. All he knows is his heartache.

An hour or so of crying, grieving and smoking, Logan breathes. "Okay, okay," He wipes his eyes and stands up, spinning his gun around his finger.  "But I know what you would've wanted me to do Patton, and I will do it," 

He turns around, looks at the robot that's in tatters on the ground. "We'll start with you, shall we,"

\--

Logan wakes up, six months later too Roman shaking him awake "Uh...we have a situation," Logan blinks, grabs Patton's goggles off the side and slides them onto his head, hand grabbing at his 10mm as he follows his younger brother. The robot, whose name was now Ada, had something of a body now, but neither Logan now Virgil could entirely put together the schematics that Patton had been reading before his death, she sat patiently beside one of the torn-apart gas station pumps. 

There is a situation indeed. The situation is in fact, a man, in his early 20's who is wearing blacked-out goggles, a battered leather jacket and wielding a baseball bat with spikes embedded into it over his shoulder like a fashion accessory. A smirk pulling at his lips as he stares down the barrel of Virgil's gun. The situation feels hauntingly familiar, too the point that Logan's stomach twists. Except of course, to the whir of a robot hovering behind the young man. He pulls a cigarette out of the box from his pocket and places it in his mouth, studying the young man with careful regard. Slowly, he lights it "What's your name kid?" Logan asks, taking the cigarette out of his mouth, a cloud of smoke chasing his words "And if I walk any closer are you gonna put that bat in my skull?" 

A smirk crosses the man's face "Tell, tall dark and broody to lower his gun and I'll put down my bat," Logan nods to Virgil, who does as he's told, holstering his gun and holding his hands up to show the other, he nods and lays his bat down at his feet. "My name is Remy, and I noticed you've got a robot that needs fixing, thought this place was abandoned," Logan exhales with a nod, before holding out his cigarette for Remy, the younger takes it with a small smile.

"We've got a robot that needs fixin', do you think you can fix it?" Virgil and Roman exchange looks, eyebrow raised, Remy looks at Ada, raising his eyebrows before nodding, bringing the cigarette to his lips, inhaling and then exhaling steadily. 

"Be a bit of a treasure hunt to find the pieces," He pulls his goggles up, behind are a pair of calculated brown eyes "But yeah, I can do it," He pulls the goggles back down, offering the rest of his cigarette to Logan. "If you help me find the pieces, I can have that robot fixed up in no time, but what do I get in return?" Logan looks back at Virgil and Roman, Virgil rolls his eyes and mutters something along the lines of ' _oh not again,_ ' whilst Roman pulls puppy dog eyes. Dogmeat barks. 

"Food, protection, water," Logan says simply "You can stay here with us for as long as you want, if you maintain our defenses, you won't need to worry about trade, security or nourishment ever again, Virgil is a fantastic hunter, took down a Deathclaw by himself," Virgil raises his eyebrows and smirks. Remy considers this for a moment, as Logan holds out his hand, the other shakes it. 

"Sounds like you've got a deal there,"

 

 

 


End file.
